Andrew Tate is a grifter. He is a snake oil salesman. He is a caricature and an opportunist. And he has a significant chunk of young men eating out of the palm of his hand.
Sadly, Tate is not alone, with an increasing number of influencers (mostly men, but including some women) joining the Manosphere and espousing a return to ‘traditional values’ and decrying the ‘hypergamous’ nature of ‘modern women’ that has apparently destroyed the social fabric of our world.
Yes, you may need a glossary. Let’s get some of the terminology out of the way first:
- Hypergamous: the tendency to date up and across, thus increasing your financial and social status by virtue of your partner. This term is sketchy at best, with limited valid research to back it up, but swathes of anecdotal evidence from impassioned (and frequently rejected) men.
- Trad wife: a woman, or wife, who adheres to traditional family and gender roles. Think, dinner on the table at 6pm and a drink in the man’s hand as he walks through the door.
- Alpha, beta etc: a way that men (and occasionally women) seek to classify themselves and their behaviours. They are derived from studies into wolfpack hierarchies which have been soundly debunked by their own author. Many grifters in the space seek to ‘teach’ vulnerable young men how to embody ‘alpha’ qualities and avoid being a ‘beta cucks’ (a cuck is a man who allows women to dictate his behaviour. Sometimes the word ‘simp’ is also used).
- Sigma: the rarest kind of male… A unicorn if you will (they wouldn’t… beta behaviour, really). They are equal in dominance to an alpha but don’t buy into the social bullshit like alphas do… Apparently.
- The Manosphere: a collection of social media influencers running blogs, podcasts and social media accounts that promote masculinity, misogyny and stridently oppose feminism.
- Incel: a person who is in a state of involuntary celibacy – that is they desire sex but are unable to get any. Often, they are young men who cannot see why women do not find them desirable. They blame women’s ‘hypergamous’ nature and suggest that a return to traditional values would ensure women would give them an opportunity.
Spearheaded by the likes of Jordan Peterson for the older crew and Tate for the teenagers and younger men, the popularity of this movement cannot be denied and nor should it. I don’t like what these men are selling but I would be foolish not to interrogate why they have the attention of so many young men.
The reality is that in classrooms, boardrooms, worksites and homes all over the world, messages like Tate’s and Peterson’s are being consumed and lived out. They are damaging. They are dangerous. We need to understand why our young men are increasingly drawn to these ideas.
In some part, its because there are some good messages sprinkled within the dogma. Tate sells an ideal man that is hard-working, driven, strong and brave. Nothing wrong with that until the flip side. To protect, to provide for, women who are not all those things. Women who are weak, stupid, disloyal and opportunistic.
Tate, and Peterson, help validate and rationalise a world that is hostile and unforgiving. They characterise the world as ‘out to get you’. Indeed, Tate is on record saying that we are in fact living in the Matrix, and that he has cracked the code.
The reality is that some of what Tate says is not untrue. It is palatable even. He promotes being motivated. Fine. He promotes fitness and strength. Fine. But underlying that is the sense that these are defensive choices to shield you from attack. And that is a problem.
Andrew Tate offers young men a solution to a problem they can’t quite verbalise. Jordan Peterson rationalises a world to young men who are confused and overwhelmed. What are they supposed to be? Who are they supposed to be?
As the mental health statistics and outcomes for men continue to decline, we have to do better, and we have to ask why. It is not good enough to tell boys not to be misogynists and then walk away. The Tates, the Petersons of the world are symptoms. The rise of misogynist ideologies are symptoms.
Too often, when issues are divisive, both sides of an argument just end up yelling at each other. It cannot be denied that the patriarchy has hurt women. It cannot be denied that progress has been made for women and that society is better for it. It cannot be denied that some men have leveraged power for too long and the ledger must be balanced.
But equally, who do our young men turn to? How can they safely and positively express their masculinity? How do they celebrate the things that make them uniquely them, if those traits are masculine ones?
When I go to commercial gyms, I see tight clusters of boys, glancing sidelong at mirrors and moving in packs. The anxiety and showmanship is palpable. This is where our boys are going to forge their identities. Floundering along, with form that is eye-wateringly bad. Staying isolated and insulated. Pray for their spines everyone.
Tate and others have created a world in these kids minds where everyone is out to get them. The system, women, other men. No wonder they are scared. No wonder they desperately flex their biceps and bench press with bizarre urgency. They believe they must create an alpha (or sigma, I’m still confused TBH) identity to be safe. They must be untouchable. Invulnerable.
I’ve seen a term come up recently that I kind of love – rewilding. It refers to fostering relationships with the world around us that we have lost. I have another (very clumsy) one to add to the mix. Re-community-ing. Relearning the sense of safety, trust and mutual support that community offers.
We need to do better for our young men and boys (and society at large, but one rabbit-hole at a time I think). And I think gyms could be a starting place for some of them relearning community.
Imagine a space where they can learn safely to get strong both mentally and physically. A space where community is fostered and shared challenges create stronger connections. A space where men and women equally push hard for what they want. Crossfit gym anyone…
I know gyms aren’t the answer, but I do believe community is. The sense that we strive together and that your identity and who you are is valued by the group, not at risk of being torn down at any second.
That is the antidote to the poison in the manosphere. I’m not saying they should all join a strength and conditioning facility (they should, but so should most people) but they should join a balanced and inclusive community.
The solution, as always, is educating and including.
And I can’t wait to see a system where we effectively teach our young people to build strong minds, strong bodies, and strong connections. I know it will come.
Breathe. Keep moving.
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